Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
