Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
