I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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