Jerry, you need to find god
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
