All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
More tranny stories later!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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