I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
