So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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