i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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