She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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