Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
kristin has been a bad kristin
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
