You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
