before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
