Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
