your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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