He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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