i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
