Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
