i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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