As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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