I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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