My Higher Power is John Stamos
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
