fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
