I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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