Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
