You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
