Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We have started to decorate penises.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
