just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
