I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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