my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
