I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
