I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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