Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
