Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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