Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
