Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
