You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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