Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
