im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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