Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
