I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
