I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
