ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
