I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
