Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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