there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
