do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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