ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
