Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
