69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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