Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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