O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
