When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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