would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
