he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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