Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
